Students are students, and students are AWESOME!

Today was my first day of ministry activity on CSULB. Me, Sarah, and a few students passed out free water, helped move, and gave directions to lost freshman as they were moving in today. It was hot, and the agua was very appreciated :)

I got to talk to one of the IV students a lot, which was AMAZING (we will call her "A"). She is such a strong woman, I am already impressed by her faith and her belief that God is in control. She is married and her husband is in the navy. From how she describes her, her life is a constant question mark. They never know more than a week in advance what the situation is. They may even restation him in another state in January! She is constantly forced to be flexible, trusting, and hope in the LORD. Hearing more of her story and relationship with God, I am blown away (and honestly SCHOOLED!) by her steadfast belief that Jesus is in control and won't drop her. My financial situation (part-time job may not be enough money...ugh) seems so small in comparison. But, more than anything, I am reminded to TRUST AND HOPE IN THE LORD! AMEN! :)

As for the students I met... here are two stories:

First, I met an RA (we shall call her "K" to respect privacy). We were helping a family find the nearest restroom, and it was in the lobby of K's dorm. A and I starting talking to K, and eventually we told her that we were with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (IVCF). She told us that she was a Christian, and that one of our fellow IVers is a friend of hers, and a strong partner in faith. It was encouraging to find another Christian, and she seemed interested in our group. At the end of the day, after passing out most of the water bottles, I brought K a couple leftover. I told her how much of a blessing her being an RA is to the students, and that I am blessed to have a sister caring for others on campus. She said we needed to encourage and support each other, and that we would be a light at CSULB. Her faith impressed upon me how vital it is that I am here for this season, and reminded me how much God loves CSULB that He is putting His people allll over. I took down K's info to contact her about IV stuff, and asked where she goes to church. I hope to visit with Brendan, Sam and Daniel soon :) She was awesome, and I look forward to getting to know her better!

I also met a guy (J). So J pulled into the parking lot with a car full of stuff and no one around to help. A and I offered, and he was very grateful. When we started, some basketball players came to help (many sports team and those in the Greek system were there to help today, mandatory I think). We had so many people helping J, he was floored. I started talking to him, asking him how he felt about the year, where he was from, his major, etc. We talked about various things, and after two trips with 7 or so helpers, he was mostly unloaded. He told us he would get the last few things and thanked us for our help. I wanted to tell him who we were, but honestly froze. I felt bad as I left the dorm, and I told God "if only I had another chance." Then here comes J, walking behind me. He says he left something he needed in his car, and I tell him who we are, that we have BBQs and stuff coming up, and if he would want to give me his information. He says yes, and now I can follow-up with him later! I ran into him a few more times (his dorm was by our FREE WATER stand).

So, those are my DAY 1 stories. Please pray for J, K, the other students we met, those we have not yet met, that God would continue to ordane moments like these where we can love the students of Beach State!

Throughout the day, I noticed quite a few differences (the ethnic diversity, the amount of transfer students from community colleges, the size of the place, the lack of discussion amongst first year-aka no real bonding stuffs yet/random convos like in the dorms of Scripps)... but I noticed one similarity: college students are college students. Conversations with them are not unlike those I had back at Scripps welcoming first years. Though I have much to learn, this much is true: God has called me to LOVE students; it is a ministry that, for this season of my life, causes me to rejoice and be glad for all the LORD has planned!

One Full Day

Just a few quick updates (yes, all happened yesterday):

I have two jobs! One is a coaching position for water polo in Santa Ana at a high school. The other is an office assistant/tutoring position in Long Beach. The dilemma? How many hours is TOO many hours with my internship also?

Please pray for discernment on how many coaching hours to take on, if any.

I was in a car accident. Nothing too serious. I've been a little sore, but my car is totally fine.

Please pray for healing, that this soreness is all I'll experience.

Now, we are waiting to hear about a few apartments.

Please pray that we can find a good place soon!!!

That is all :)

God is my Victory

Just some short thoughts, not about interning persay, but some reflections.

Things have been hard, personally and spiritually, as of late. I feel like I'm in a bit of a dry season, a desert. The irony? I asked for it...

When Brendan and I were praying about UCI or UCSB, God told me and my friends that He was calling me into the desert. He promised oasis, but a desert nonetheless. I was afraid of going to UCSB, and God called me to trust Him and be open. Brendan ended up at UCI, but God transformed me (us both, actually) in the process... and for me, He called me into the desert. My prayer for the last month of school or so was for a season of trials. Not because I like them. I hate when things are hard. But, because I felt so comfortable in my faith, comfortable with where I was. A desert, a season of trials, while it would be a dark and hard time, would end with experiencing and understanding more of God than I ever have before.

Sometimes, God gives us exactly what we ask for. I believe God has a lot to teach me in this hard, dry time. I believe He wants me to know more of Him, to experience more of Him, to lean on and delight in Him more than I have ever before. I've been hopeless and discouraged lately, but I also find myself surprised by how good God is and how much He loves me, how much He is walking alongside Brendan and me, how much He protects and provides, how good and trustworthy He is.

Please pray for me to experience more of God. Honestly, I wish things were easier. And on my weakest days, I feel alone in the fight. Yet, though I don't always feel it, I know this is true:

"I see the King of Glory, coming on the clouds with fire, the whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakesl I see His love and mercy, washing over all our sin, the people sing, the people sing, Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest!"

And though sometimes it takes all my strength, and sometimes I forget to pray, I believe:

"I see a generation, rising up to take their place, with selfless faith, with selfless faith; I see a near revival, stirring as we pray and seek, we're on our knees, we're on our knees; Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the Highest"

Despite the pain, the exhaustion, the hopelessness, and the weakness of my faith... I trust in the LORD, and this is my cry:

"Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love like You have loved me! Break my heart for what breaks Yours; everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause, as I walk from earth into eternity (with YOU!)"

***

Someone said that revival begins in our hearts before it can begin on our campuses. LORD, have Your way!

Intern Trek 2011!

Hey everyone,

I was away for 10 days, 9 nights, on the InterVarsity Intern Trek. It was AMAZING (to say the least).

We spent part of the trip in Albuquerque, NM and part in Flagstaff, AZ. We did spiritual formation in the morning, which was focused on our relationship with God. We talked about Christ's invitation to abide with him, to "come and see"; about getting in the reflexive habit of confession and repentance; about becoming "Nathans" to our students, which includes speaking truth even when it may destroy our image; forming habits of gratitude in the midst of suffering; God's calling on our lives, and that we can rejoice over our gifts and abilities by giving glory to God; finally, we talked about spiritual authority--authority that comes directly from God through our intimate relationship with Him.

The time in NM we were trained by Doug Schaupp (author of Being White and I Once Was Lost) in evangelism. He was also in my van (we stayed in homes of people from the church, so Doug helped drop us off/ pick us up every night). On top of his AMAZING training in evangelism, he has an amazing story of how he became a writer and how he has grown in racial reconciliation and chapter development. It was so fun to get to know him and my lovely van mates better. They even took me out for my bday :D The Outreach event on UNM's campus was my first ever experience with contact evangelism. And, although I didn't lead anyone to Christ, I shared the gospel boldly and saw God answer my prayers IMMEDIATELY! (Hey Mark, how you doin'?! haha). Anyway, it was AMAZING! And over 10 people came to Christ that day, including a group of young kids led to faith by none other than Tom Allen (woot Van-Dad! He drove me and another intern from Riverside to New Mexico. We got to know our boss's boss's boss pretty well... haha).

In AZ we focused more specifically on our time of transition and cross-cultural relationships. The things on multi-ethnicity weren't anything I have not heard before (thanks to Erna and Kate for their amazing training, and certain friends as well. You all know who you are!). But it was still an AMAZING refresher, and it was cool to be there to experience with the other interns. I especially enjoyed hearing other people's journeys with multi-ethnicity and their own ethnic identity. I still find that I am hesitant to strongly identify as white... but I think I'm realizing that it is ok, so long as it is out of genuine difference and not simply a fear of being white or white guilt. Maybe it is time I took another look at Doug's book ;) We'll see :P

Anywho, as for the things on transition... a lot to process. My main take-away is that I need to cling to God and community during this time. I need to MAKE the time for God, to abide in Him, to dwell with Him, to trust and lean on Him, to rejoice in Him, delight in Him, be blessed by Him, be LOVED BY HIM! And, I need to make time to develop a healthy relationship with Brendan, to go deeper in community with S&D, and to continue building/developing friendships with people from Claremont as well as in Long Beach. However, I also need to be patient with myself. One thing they said was "You'll know when things are off balance when things are wrong/hard/difficult" basically, we can't always PLAN for transition to go well... but we can ADJUST along the way. We won't know we've lacked community (often) until we feel isolated/alone. We won't know we've lacked rest until we're pissed off and grumpy (if you're me, haha). So, time will tell :) Good thing God goes with me AND before me ;)

All in all, the trek was really good. I enjoyed it, it was challenging, and God definitely gave me some good things to chew on for the next year.

I've updated my prayer requests! Check em out!

Job Searching

Hey everyone, just a short post asking specifically for prayer with my job search.

I've applied to tons of positions on craigslist, mostly office/personal assistant positions. I'm slowly starting to hear back. Please pray for discernment, and that I would get a job.

Also, I applied to work here http://www.collegeinternshipprogram.com/index.html as a relational/communications mentor. It is a program that works with students who have learning differences (such as Aspergers). I'd love to do it, but I don't know if it would be too much with interning as well.

Please pray. The real world has endless possibilities, and I want to be a faithful steward to the blessings God has given.

Thanks!

REVIVAL for So Cal!

This weekend I was on Catalina Island with the So Cal regional InterVarsity staff, and God had a word for us: REVIVAL.

People often toss around the word "revival." What does it mean? What does it look like?

"National Evangelist" (CRAZY title, right?!) York Moore came out to speak to us about revival—what it is, what it means, what it looks like. Grounded in numerous passages* about this amazing concept "revival," he ultimately summed it up as the moment that the veil separating us from God is torn; when the Kingdom of God enters into the world of mere men; when Christ’s second coming and the New Creation can be seen on the horizon as non-Christians come to faith and Christians are awakened to God's call; when God's DREAM becomes the desire of His people; when the injustice in this world is eradicated and old broken systems are forever transformed and made new; when we reach the end of ourselves and a tidal wave of faith, miracles, hope, healing, redemption, confession, and conversion occur.

Our regional staff, coming off a difficult year (or season), to say the least, were tired. As York spoke of revival, many felt resistant—not because one doesn't think it sounds good, but because hope means work, hope requires radical faith, hope and dreaming God's dreams requires sacrifice, suffering, losing control, and always a chance of disappointment. For people who selflessly, faithfully, and repeatedly extend beyond themselves to LOVE the campuses in Southern California, the desire for more is daunting, exhausting, and relentlessly deteriorating; one cannot even think to look to the horizon to see the sun when the clouds have been covering the sky all night long. Some staff have families—what does revival look like as a parent? Some staff are in the middle of spiritual “dark nights”—what does revival look like as one feels distant and alone, separate from God? And most (or all) staff are at the end of themselves—what does it mean to pray for revival when one has nothing more to offer?

During the last night of the conference, in a moment of challenge and call from our leaders, we were asked if we were open to revival: personal revival and corporate, regional, national, world-wide revival. Despite the cost—the sacrifice, suffering, loss of control, and chance for disappointment—our staff chose to be open to revival, open to God’s call, open to the work God would set before them! Despite the hard work they put in all year, despite their weariness and desire for rest, they counted the cost and gave themselves over to God’s will.

In the midst of a night of prayer and worship, I felt so overwhelmingly connected to my fellow staff. Their hearts ached for their campuses and for themselves—for the work God has in store for us, for our contexts and our world. As the Israelites cried out to God in the midst of their suffering in Egypt, and as God answered their cry through Moses, Aaron and Miriam, through miracles and bringing Himself to His people, so also God has heard the cry of our staff—from San Diego, Greater Los Angeles, and the “Surf and Turf” Region—and I believe, WE believe, revival is on its way.

But what does that mean? Nothing. I mean, nothing clear. There is no strategic plan to bring revival. There is no way to spark revival. There is only God’s timing and a room full of obedient ministers ready to go where God calls them. That is the beginning of revival. Are you ready for it?

Do you believe God wants revival in So Cal? On the west coast? In the United States? Around the world? Again, revival is a scary word—it brings up images of “those Christians” or thoughts of mass conversions with no place to go to be truly discipled in the faith, or mass ridicule because revival is now a no-no, counter cultural word. But I say revival does not belong to any sect, denomination, people group or nation. Revival should be counter-cultural, because REVIVAL is a GOD thing! Revival is God’s Kingdom (spoken of by Jesus, by Isaiah and the prophets, in Revelation 21) coming to our world for a time. God’s Kingdom on earth—in bits and pieces, clearly imperfect for it is not yet the end of days, but a piece none the less.

Do you want it? If so, be open to dreaming dreams, God-sized dreams (also known as God’s will!). If you can picture it, it isn’t big enough. If you have a strategy for how to get there, you aren’t open enough to what God desires.** I mean this as an encouragement!!! We serve the LORD ALMIGHTY, Maker of the heavens and earth, King of kings and Lord of lords, Savior of the world! What does He dream of? Wish for? Desire? From experience, it is ALWAYS bigger and better than even the wildest of my hopes. He is so good and so big, and I am so imperfect and small, yet He uses me, us, as vessels to do His work! Crazy!!!

While there is no strategy, there are key elements in revival, and they all come from faith 101: prayer, preaching a not-watered-down gospel, waiting on the LORD (actively anticipating), seeking the LORD (fasting? Solitude? Meditation on His word?), desire for justice, confession, repentance, and cultivating a LONGING for more of God.

God is central to revival. The truth is that we don’t seek revival. We seek God. As we seek Him, we begin to be more like Him. As we become more like Him, we start to desire what He desires—we start to dream God-sized dreams. And He, our Father in heaven, loves to give His children the desires of their hearts!***

*Some Biblical passages about revival (moments when God broke through.. which is sorta the whole Bible…): Exodus 4:29-31, 1 Samuel 7, 2 Chron 15, 1 Kings 18:36-39, Jonah 3:6-10, 2 Chron 29-31, 2 Chron 34-35, Ezra 3:10-13, Nehemiah 8:6, John the Baptist, the Gospels, Acts 8, Acts 11, a lot of other places in Acts).

**My own experience with this idea: I am ready, expectant and hopeful. However, I feel small and insignificant. As I find the LORD speaking to me of His dreams and great things, I fear that it is really just my own naïve desires. Please, please, pray against my insecurities. Let me, in humility, recognize the call God has put on my life to bring His Word, His Love, and thus His Kingdom, to this earth. God bless!

*** And what are some of the desires of the So Cal region’s hearts? Click on "THE BIG ONES" at the top of this page for a summary list!

A New Chapter!!

Brendan and I are engaged!!! <3 Thank you for your prayers and support! Continue to prayer for the development of our relationship over this year or so of engagement!

Now, to explain the change in this blog. Hopefully it will keep all of my family and friends in the loop on what I am doing as I intern with InterVarstiy Christian Fellowship at CSU Long Beach!

I'm excited for this next stage of my life, although it is sad to leave behind such amazing friends and Christian community. Before I get into the details, I must say to all of 3CIV: it has been a pleasure leading for you. I am not exaggerating when I say God taught me more through you than He possibly used me to do! Thank you for the opportunity. I continue to pray for a harvest at the Claremont Colleges. Simply because I am leaving does NOT mean that I stop partnering with my brothers and sisters in Claremont through prayer! <3 you!!!

Now for the new details: summer will be full of family, friends, and REST. Hopefully Brendan and I will be together wherever we end up going (pray for that!).

I start looking for a job near Long Beach. Prayer for finding one, and knowing what sort to look for (youth programs? Or a more "mindless" job? etc.)

We will start looking for apartments: one for me and Sam, one for Brendan and Daniel. (pray for God's provision!)

Otherwise, I'm off. Good bye Scripps college. Thank you for all the experiences I've had. I knew it was the right place from the start, that God has big plans, and even now I'm sure I don't know all of them!