Another post about sheep. Be warned.
These are my reflections from church this Sunday that I felt God was fueling in me. Enjoy.
Personally, I am having a harder time snapping back into the semester, despite all the good things I have seen. I think the difficulties of ministry are taking their toll. Unfortunately, winter break was not the most spiritually reviving season either (my own doing). I am slowly getting back on track so that I can be intune to God's vision and will for myself and for CSULB.
However, the lack of "feeling" God is growing some of my deeper senses of His existence, His love, His truth. Even if I don't "feel" Him doesn't mean He isn't there. Even if I can't "see" Him doesn't mean He isn't at work.
I believe this season will be interesting, particularly as God is inviting me to more hope and joy... I think it is not by chance that I am not in a particularly "spiritually high" place to grow in these two aspects of faith. Hope and Joy are not emotions but rather realities Christians are invited into. I am excited to see what Jesus has in store for me and my campus.
Jesus,
No greater grace and mercy the world has ever seen than Your body and blood shed for my salvation. For though Your love endures all tribulations and conquers any obstacle, my heart is fickle as I stray far from Your compassionate care. Yet as a strong and gentle Shepherd, You seek me out--a dumb sheep once again caught in the thicket, ensnared by the sins of this world. No amount of time and space can prevent Your ears from catching my cries, however feeble and unwillingly I call. Your rod and Your staff are a comfort: not only guiding me down righteous paths, they hack ruthlessly at the prickly weeds latched onto my shabby whool. The same fierceness with which you cleansed the temple of theives and liars You remove briers and burrs, freeing a foolish lamb like me. As my heart wanes within me, the burdens of this world attempt to crush and bind, You bring release. You pull me from my demise and lift me onto Your shoulders, for You are strong and I am weak. It is for this, Your faithfulness, that I will yet praise You. Though I am lost, I trust that You will seek me out, and by Your diligence, out of love, I shall be found. So I count myself blessed, not that I am worthy, courageous, strong, or capable, but that when I am weak, needy, desperate and vulnerable I again find myself in Your arms.
The scandal of grace is this--that though we were still sinners, Jesus, out of love for us, died and conquered all our faults and failures.
I am not the best for ministry-of this I am now convinced-but I know God called me here for a reason, probably many reasons, and I am hopeful to discover what He has up His sleeve.
